Definitely have not just spent the last half hour vocally devising an acoustic rendition of ‘Nigga’s in Paris’.
Its surprising how well some of it works.
‘Sometimes even in death, people never leave, they stay in the shadows, in your darkest of fears; waiting, just waiting until somehow they are freed.’
There’s a ghost in St Ives, only no one believes it. To them, she’s a tale of generations past; something…
So, I’ve had a bit of an epiphany as of late. It’s as if someone’s switched a light on in my head, kicked my brain out of bed and injected me with a bit confidence.
So here’s to me finishing my book, making my film and getting my name out there. Because after watching ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’ the other day, I have decided to make it my mission to create something that makes someone (anyone, one person at least) feel the way that film made me feel.
This is the year I stop giving up before I’ve begun. This is the year I put full belief behind my abilities.
This is the year I feel alive.
So 5000 words in 3 days. I am on a fucking roll.
I have no resolutions this year. Well, nothing frivolous like ‘give up chocolate’ or ‘lose weight’ (well actually, I will be giving that one a go, but I wouldn’t call it a resolution as such seeing as I know it wont stick past a few pounds) but I have made some ‘decisions’. Despite meaning the same thing, ‘to decide’ sounds so much more definite than ‘to resolve’. Much more commanding- like there’s much more at stake. Which there is, I guess, with these decisions as they attempt to tackle more my sense of being and worth more than the triviality of physical presence.
So here goes.
And I decide to:
-Finally finish my novel: It’s been 4 years; go figure. I need to know I can actually do it.
-Make this film: I need to show what I can do. I need to get a job/go to film school next year and kickstart my career and crush my endless stream of self doubt.
Less talking, more doing. GO.
Gonna go into London, sit in a cafe and write my book.
It’s all very stereotypically hipster and shit but sitting in my little room in Reading really hasn’t been working out too well for me so, that is exactly what I am going to do.